you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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