Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
