I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
