I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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