She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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