he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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