Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
