smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
