It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize