and i looked up. we had an audience...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you had me at cake vodka
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
