Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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