guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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