I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
