Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
