Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
