The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
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I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
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High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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