What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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