i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
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You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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