I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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