Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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