Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Dignity is for republicans.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
