K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
