I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
