He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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