is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
