i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
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I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
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He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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