i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
