he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
