Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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