When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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