Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
