Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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