i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
