Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
