mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
