God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
