Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
