Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
are you so shy because you have an std?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
