you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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