well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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