why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
