watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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