They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
