you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
