Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
