So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
