I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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