Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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