ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
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omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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