You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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