Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
