I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
