Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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