what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
