it wasn't lemon gatorade
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
