Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
