you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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