do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
