Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
