why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
