Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
