He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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